So over the course of the last few months, I have been really passionate about helping marriages work and get better. For years I have worked with a lot of marriages, and many of them had what it took to get better, but to get there they had to alter or change the way they looked at the problem.
First session, (after about 10 minutes of watching them argue about who is to blame) I ask them this:
Name 1 thing that you are doing that hurts your relationship.
This shifts the focus away from their spouse, and causes them to take a look at their own contribution. I had to do this in my marriage, and so did my wife. Some people don’t want to do this, but its imperative to be able to reframe the conversation away from blaming their spouse for the problems, and take action on what they are actually in control of, which is themselves, and their choices…not their spouse’s choices.
No marriage is perfect, because we are imperfect people. Therefore, its up to us to seek out these areas within ourselves, and work on them, to become more healthy. Healthy people can produce healthy relationships, so we have to consider if what we are doing is making a healthy relationship, or an unhealthy relationship.
In case you didn’t know, this is going to be an ongoing theme for me as I continue to put out content. I have come to realize in my own life that small choices can have big impacts. That will be a post for another day.
God Bless You,